Modern software is a failure.
Huston we have a problem. Modern software is toxic…
Almost each and every program is designed in a way to make us suffer.
It looks like developers have some secret conspiracy society aiming to make all of us feel hopeless and miserable.
The history of graphical user interface
Let’s dig into the story of this question.
In the Milky Way Galaxy a long, long time ago, people on Earth developed special electronic machines to analyze data and play Tetris.
Those machines were so complicated that only the smartest people (at least PhD in math) could use them. Those smartest people literally needed to write a code to make those machines do something useful.
Then graphic user interface came along with windows and icons. It was a sort of revolution, since from now on not only the smartest humans, but also regular stupid people could use magic electronic calculation machines.
It became a sort of social agreement – smart people create software, stupid people use that software.
Nobody raised any questions, but everybody knew that a user is by definition a dumb donkey. Anonymous even created a bunch of memes about it (like placing an “any button” sticker onto a spacebar).
But times changed…
People got used
Actually no, it’s a vicious lie, nothing has never changed.
Developers are bright and shiny people, and they know how to do it right. While users are stupid and they will eventually get used to any piece of ugly crap which will be pushed into them.
That is why we are called users.
Not because we are using software, but because we get used to it. Just as we get used to traffic jams, poverty, garbage on the streets and herpes.
The very same way, we get used to all those shitty UI-s, perverted workflows, dead white backgrounds and meaningless fancy designs.
Something is not quite right
It feels like something went terribly wrong. Developers forgot about one tiny but extremely crucial detail.
Stupid users are actually paying for smart programs.
So it would be fair, if software were not developed with the attitude that “those dumbasses will get used to it anyway“. But rather with the idea of assisting and supporting people in their everyday struggle.
If a stupid monkey pays for a program or web-application, then this stupid monkey has a right to get a joyful user experience.
I have a confession to make
I want to confess, I am a stupid monkey.
But when I am paying for something, I want to see that people who developed that product or service were thinking about me with care and respect. That they did their job to save my energy and my precious attention.
And there are no software which would give me such feeling.
Just opposite: I feel hate, I feel miserable, I want to die in despair.
Yes, I am a stupid monkey. But I want to enjoy my meaningless existence, particularly when I am paying for it.
Unbearable misery of modern design
Okay, maybe I am dramatizing a bit too much, and it’s not that bad…
No, joking again. It is even worse than that.
It doesn’t matter if an app was developed by a monopoly giant like Google, Microsoft, Apple or Meta or by a no-name startup company. The result will be all the same:
Ugly, ignorant, demanding piece of crap.
A crooked application which expects us to waste terawatts of energy and light-years of time just to perform a simple action.
Name any, literally any software or web-service (particularly those developed by monopolies above) and it will be an unbearable misery.
Maybe Excel stands out a little bit, since it is packed with useful functions so much that we could forgive its retarded design.
ByCycle strikes back.
We, stupid monkeys, wanted to fight for our basic rights.
We developed an elegant web-tool for work planning and team collaboration.
We made it with an intention of bringing some culture and intelligence to this dystopian and ignorant reality.
We really wanted you to enjoy your life.
Try ByCycle for free and see how it works for you.
Check our gallery for more pictures of ByCycle.
For any questions or comments, feel free to contact us here.
P.S. Originally this article was planned for publishing at medium.com
But since developers of that service managed to provide such an awful ux/ui, I decided to delete our account from their site instead of publishing an article.